Reviews of Movies That Don't Make Sense

Me: Hang on, I need to press pause. I'm gonna live-blog this.  Daughter: What's that?  Me: Like, write down all my thoughts.  Daughter: Oh... why...  Home Alone I, II, and III are behind us. We're dealing with a new crew. This is indicated in the opening credits when an actor is listed as playing "Kevin" (quotes, theirs). And then it's upon us.  We start out with the usual frenzied house; kids yelling "mom" and nicely appointed, but... clearly the family's lifestyle is not quite as luxe. Like, there is no hand-painted wallpaper. No Extreme Dining Room. No burnished banister. Something in the very air is a little dimmer, dingier, and everyone seems slightly more emotionally taxed. Mom's clothes look more Donna Karan Macy's than Donna Karan circa E! Fashion Channel. Within a few minutes we learn that Dad is out of the picture. Dee-vorce has struck the McCallister family. Damn. The kids don't chide and tease one other with phrases l