Jurassic Park III

Tea Leoni is so great. God she's awesome. I just think she's beyond gorgeous and that husky Kathleen Turner voice of hers... right? Too much. For some odd reason (i.e., a paycheck) she decided to take a role in the Jurassic franchise. In the third installment, she plays the role of a mother whose son has gone missing on an island inhabited by resurrected dinosaurs. She and her ex-husband (William Macy, wait, William H. Macy) solicit the help of Dr. Grant (Sam something) and his assistant Billy (a dude) and they plan a research trip that is really a ruse to get them to the island where they hope to find their son and a T-Rex dining al fresco. (Also, the reason the son is there is he and mom's new man were taking a pleasure cruise around this hellscape when shit hit the fan and they had to eject from their parasailing tour and careen wildly into the landscape.) When Dr. Grant realizes he has been tricked into finding their charge, he is next-level pissed. But, hell, here they are, the plane isn't working anymore (long story) and a couple of the security detail have been eaten, so they might as well tour the isle and find the kid, if poss. I mean, whatareyougonnado? The group breaks up, accidentally or deliberately, I can't remember, and basically Dr. Grant gets into some kind of scrape with a gaggle of raptors -- which leads to the missing boy materializing just in time to save the day! With improvised smoke grenades, whittled flint arrowheads, and brush camo! It's a great scene. Mom's boyfriend is not with him. Turns out mom's boyfriend is dead. We learned this earlier, it just didn't matter. To anyone. His rotting carcass was discovered tangled in his parachute and the tree where he originally crashed, and although I've seen this movie fifteen (twenty?) times, I can't for the life of me figure out exactly what happened/why he couldn't untangle himself. When he's found, mom starts crying -- NOT because her bf is dead (this is stated explicitly) but because she believes her son is alive. At this moment in the film mom and DAD embrace. I wonder if JP3 was penned by a jilted ex-husband. Anyhoo! Some other stuff happens, and I think Billy was up to some mischief that ignites no one's curiosity (neither on the part of his fellow characters nor the audience) and then it's over. Dr. Grant was able to call Laura Dern (who has a cameo tending to her young offspring, as she and ALL WOMEN are destined to do despite being once involved with Jurassic Park and paleontology. She -- as ALL WOMEN must -- really just wants to settle down and replicate herself and bounce hysterical children and wipe shit (literal shit) off the carpet. 

I give this movie the highest possible rating any movie -- of any genre, or category -- can receive. 


Source: Youtube.com 

P.S. For those who traffic in intrigue and gossip (me) apparently the set was problematic. "I'm shocked!" - No one. "Interestingly, Jurassic Park 3 had a production and film shoot with no clear vision for what the film would be until the movie finally wrapped filming. The director of the film, Joe Johnston even stated that it was a common joke on the set of the film that the film's wrap would be the gift of a completed script." 

- Klayton Fioriti

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